lilaccollarbone

been here for 6 weeks now. i like it here, and i like him. 

cant get rid of the pit in my stomach, not that i'm trying to.

dear anyone,

i am so frustrated. i cant do anything with my life. i have no one i can talk to, and the one person i feel most comfortbale with is going through hard times too, which makes me evern more upset. i know he can help me, but right now i think he is asleep and he's not pickig up his phone.

the thought came into my head just a few moments ago. i will not act on it even though i want to. it wont solve anything. it wont make things different.

i want to get drunk, but i've already drank a bunch of water and i dont want to be peeing constantly for the next few hours.

i want to go to the gas station and get a pack of cigs but my parents will hear, get up, and then smell me.

i need to do something distructive.

i want to ask you get back online but it will only make me feel good for a second. then ill tell you and you'll just get uncomfortable and leave. 

i have no one to talk to.

i cant do this.